But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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