I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
