Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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