and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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