You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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