Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
