Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The power of my boobs compel you
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
