dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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