life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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