It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
