I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
