There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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