I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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