apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
