Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
