benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
