Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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