She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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