Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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