the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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