stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
