I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
sarcasm needs its own font
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
