I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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