How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
