watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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