the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
