I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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