She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
