yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
