Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
