i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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