...so i touched it.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
