never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she smelled like a LAN party
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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