allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
