I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The best revenge is premature balding
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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