I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
No subtext here. People are naked.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
