We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
