Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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