You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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