3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
