Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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