I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
