just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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