Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
