I wish I could punch you in the face.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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