he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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