I'll bet she douches with gravy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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