i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
