We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
