Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
