Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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