**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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