Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
