I'm really into asian looking animals
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
